All I want to do is sleep but I know that is not so healthy. I’m not really ready to go back to work yet, but I need something to do. As I’ve been searching for information about stillbirth, I came across Illuminate. It’s a web-based photography course created by Beryl Ann Young, whose first daughter was still born at 20 weeks. The first week’s assignment is to write a letter to our baby, and to create 3 to 5 self portraits. I have no idea how to take a self portrait, but I’m going to try. I cry just thinking about writing a letter to Ada, but I’m going to do that, too.
The morning of the day we found out Ada passed away, Brandon made be breakfast and gave me a rose from our garden. It was a perfect, happy moment before everything came crashing down. I will always think of Ada when I see a rose. I want to surround the house with roses and other flowers that will attract life – butterflies and bees and hummingbirds. So, I need to learn how to tend my garden.