I mailed a letter today. It’s a form to request a “Certificate of Birth Resulting in a Stillbirth” from the state of Virginia. I’d been putting it off and putting it off… it feels so final. I’m really glad it’s sent. I’m still in a part of my grieving process where I want lots of proof that Ada existed. That she is a person, that she is my daughter, our daughter. The certificate is a big part of that. For the question that asked What is your reason for requesting this certificate? I replied remembrance.
Because of how important this certificate is to me, I’m glad that I live in a state that has certificates of stillbirth. I’m not ready to think about this too much yet, but it’s interesting how something so validating like a certificate of stillbirth could be so difficult politically. Only 20 states have such certificates, and they have been hotly debated. Before Ada passed away, I never thought about how being pro choice or pro life could affect families in situations of miscarriage or stillbirth. It’s hard to balance the rights of all families. Lots to think about… later.