Most things that we want in life can be attained, through hard work, sacrifice, motivation, partnerships with other motivated people. That’s the way life should be. It’s the natural order of things, something to depend on.
But the one thing I want is the one thing I can never have. The natural order of things doesn’t make sense anymore. The world is upside down.
I miss you, Ada.
Someday the pain will decrease, I know. Someday. But right now, I feel like I’ve been shot in the chest and the wound isn’t healing right. If I concentrate around the pain, it can be ok for a minute. Then I shift unconsciously and the pain flares up again. I don’t know how to do this.